Can you hear Barbra Streisand singing it? Me too. And you know what? People, especially writers, do need people. If you spend all of your time talking to yourself and your computer, you're going to wind up with nothing to write about except yourself, and nobody wants to read a story that's all me, me, me.
I just returned from a writer's conference where I met a lot of people. I probably spent as much money on travel expenses and house-sitting as I made teaching my "Everything But Writing" and "Freelancing for Newspapers" workshops, but I added some wonderful contacts to my bag of writing supplies.
It started the first night when I presented a piece from the book I'm writing about childless women. I shared some of the crazy things people without children do for their dogs. As I sat down, the woman next to me leaned close. "Are you still interviewing people? I'm 70, I never had children, and I have six pets."
"Sure," I said. As the organizers put away the snacks and chairs at the end of the evening, Barbara told me her story while I took notes. Years ago, she was a nurse assigned to the ob-gyn unit at Stanford Hospital. That's when the realization that she would never have children hit her hard. As she delivered newborn babies to their mothers, she would have tears running down her face. After she retired, she discovered she had a gift for taking care of animals and launched a new career with the Humane Society. There's more, lots more. We're doing an interview next week.
A younger woman cornered me the next morning. She and her husband never wanted children, she said. And then she gave me a terrific quote that I can't wait to put in my book.
At breakfast on the last day, an editor searched me out to get my card for future assignments. Score!
Even if you don't write nonfiction, you still need people. The conference was teeming with characters, starting with the young hotel clerk who wore muumuus and had the stiff walk of a plastic doll with no knees. Speaking in a deep-voiced monotone, she talked on and on to anyone within ear's length.
Then there was the 81-year-old woman who sidled up to me, read on my name tag that I live in South Beach, Oregon, and said, "You know, I don't really live anywhere." Huh? She explained that she spends eight months a year living in a tent in the wilderness, relocating whenever the spirit moves her. For four winter months, she holes up in Gold Beach and volunteers at things like the writers conference.
Imagine the stories you could write about her. Why did she leave home? What happens if she gets sick or encounters a bear?
A Native American named Se-Ah Edmo gave a talk about breaking down our inbred filters to see other cultures as they really are. The key, she said, quoting Martin Buber, is to go from "I and it" to "I and thou." How do you that? By talking to people, by asking questions, by really listening to what they say until we see them as friends instead of aliens.
You don't have to go to a writer's conference to meet people. In small rural towns like the one where I live, strangers talk to each other all the time. Standing in line, dining at a restaurant, shopping at the bookstore, they'll make a comment, offer a suggestion or tell a story. We're all neighbors, even if we don't know each other's names.
Perhaps you don't live in a small town. I remember how it was back in Silicon Valley. You could stand so close to someone you could feel his breath and never say a word, never even look directly at each other. But it doesn't have to be that way. My grandfather, who was a great storyteller, would talk to anyone anywhere. When I was young, I found it embarrassing, but now, I admire him for it. Where do you think he got all those stories?
Some of us find it difficult to speak to strangers, but next time you're out, try it. Ask a question, give a compliment, share a little of your own story. If that's too hard, at least look and listen to what other people are doing and saying. It's not writing, but it's a way of gathering material, like a quilter collecting bits of cloth. Writers are definitely people who need people.
**********
Sue's New book, Freelancing for Newspapers, is available now from Quill Driver Books. Look for it from your favorite bookseller or through the publisher's website.
Join the discussion on her blog at
http://freelancingfornewspapers.blogspot.com
Stories Grandma Never Told is back in print.
Blog: http://www.grandmastories.blogspot.com
*********
Copyright 2007 Sue Fagalde Lick
About the Author: SUE FAGALDE LICK is a former newspaper editor turned full-time freelance writer. She has published four books, countless articles and many poems and stories. She teaches writing workshops online and at Oregon Coast Community College. Visit her web site at http://www.suelick.com, and her blog at http://www.freelancingfornewspapers.blogspot.com.
Be sure to visit the everything but writing archives to catch any articles you've missed!
People, people who need people . . .
